butterflyy...

Friday, July 18, 2008

Its the end of my short stint at GMSS. Im already beginning to miss my students... sob sob... I really couldnt bear to leave GM today... so i stayed around till very late... joining the choir for practice, helping out with sop sectionals and then also chit chat with colleagues, soon-to-be ex-colleagues... The feeling is really kinda sad... having to leave just when i start to love this school so much... just when i start to click really well with my students... One month just flew pass so quickly... I had a wonderful 4 weeks at GM... To begin with I had two wonderful CTs (aka mentors)who taught me a lot of things and guided me in every way... and there were also many other teachers who spent time talking to us trainees and sharing their experiences with us over a cup of coffee or lunch... and also there were my fellow trainees... the daily chats we had were always so hilarious when we discussed about students and their antics... oh my how much i will miss those gossip sessions!! And also the times we played badminton together after school... sometimes with the students as well... all the funny shots... damn hilarious la! Haha... And lastly of cos the students! ... My favourite class F2-3... an adorable bunch F1-2... and also F2-2.. and although not so guai but i still like them: F2-4... and many other classes which i relief-ed... like H5-1 which is a motivated bunch of final year students.. i wish them all the best for their O levels... I used to think neighbourhood school students are naughty and often unmanageable... but now i realised it all depends on how you approach them... they are just kids who seek your attention.. although sometimes in irritating ways... so as long you are patient and show them that you care...they will listen to you and respect you... thats for most of the students la... although there are some hard core ones that require drastic measures.. oh wells... I shall just talk abt the majority who are the nice students...Talk abt my favourite class F2-3... they are so so adorable... the way they respond to me in class... the things they say... sometimes so funny sometimes so touching even... and they are very sincere... they know that i care for them and they do care for me as well... it really touches my heart when i feel that they genuinely like me and respect me as their teacher... On my birthday they even sang me a birthday song!! And during my last lesson with them they even presented me with a huge farewell card... Thats my very first card from students... and its such a pretty card signed by the students with their little messages to me... I was very very touched then.. almost felt like crying but didnt... but in my heart i was really melting... haha.. so well that was F2-3... a class i will never forget... the first to sing me a bday song and give me a card. Thanks F2-3! You rock! Haha... Talking about my bday... i must say that this year's bday was the best i ever had in my life... i had the most number of bday cakes... blew the most candles... and had the most number of bday songs sang... First time was with FM5.1 who celebrated my bday for me real early... so it was very unexpected and i was so surprised... its the first time i got a bday surprise actually... thanks guys!! Second time was at a chalet i had with my family and a few close friends... it was the most enjoyable chalet i ever had man... so so fun.. i nearly went crazy with all the laughing... Haha! Thanks to all those who came! The third bday song was by class H5-1 whom i was relief-ing... thanks for being so funny.. haha... Fourth was by class F2-3... which was a bday song that touched my heart... thanks so much... Fifth was another surprise... super super surprise... cos i totally didnt expect it... it was by my fellow trainee colleagues... they got me a cake as well... so sweet of them rite... thanks guys for the surprise! I know i was super dumb to be tricked into entering the staff lounge... but the feeling of getting surprised was good so its okie... Haha. And last but not least... yesterday a group of geog hons class friends sang bday song for me and hongyi (his bday one day after mine)... so that was my sixth bday song! Haha... SIX bday songs for this year... i feel so contented... so happy that i have so many nice friends, colleagues, and students... Im a happy teacher. I was a happy GM teacher. Thanks GM. Thanks everyone who made me happy. =)

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 9:10 PM

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Friday, July 11, 2008

I have started a new phase of my life.
Im finally a fully employed and salaried civil servant aka teacher (still under training).
It's a job i have always wanted to do and now im enjoying myself very much.
Im presently teaching at Geylang Methodist (a mixed school... if u thot its a girls school it isnt)... its a very cosy school... Its cosy because its a small school... small both in terms of its school compound but also its strength (both students and teachers)... It seems everyone knows everyone else... which is especially so between teachers. The staffroom is so small that u cant help but know everyone within a few days... fellow teachers greet one another with a smile and stop for chats when we meet one another in the staffroom or even outside.. I get along pretty well with my colleagues and ive already become friends with quite a few... Its a nice feeling here cos teachers are very willing to help one another and there is a sense of a strong bond between all the teachers... And there's no sense of serious competition between teachers that is often present in the top schools... As for students, they are generally okie except for certain notorious classes of monkeys that are deemed 'uncontrollable'... Ive heard horror stories about them but ive yet to really see them in class... So im very lucky in that sense cos im not allocated the worst classes... Hahaa.. *phew*. I mainly teach the Sec 1 and Sec 2 classes... the cute little boys and girls.. who are extremely adorable when they behave but will make you vomit blood when they go crazy... Haha.. But im coping quite well i suppose.. even with rowdy classes.. Miss Chong can be very fierce wan you koe! ..Thats wad a student said of me... Haha! I got let them see my true colours! Haha.. well Ive learnt a lot in this school... mainly about how to manage a class well... how to strike a balance between being firm and strict, and also being friendly and kind... Its not a easy task sometimes.. i find myself having split personality at the end of the day! ...cos every class is different... so got to switch from one 'face' to another 'face' when i go for different classes... A senior teacher told me that being a teacher is like being an actor... every lesson delivered is like a performance... for it to be successful, you hav to tailor it to suit your audience, such that they can understand and enjoy your performance... Thats wad makes a good teacher...
"A successful lesson does not depend on how much you deliver but how much is absorbed."
I really think this is very important!
Hope i will become a successful teacher... =)

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 8:25 PM

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Friday, April 18, 2008

A really stupid thing happened to me today.
I fell off the bus when getting down.
Cannot picture it?
Well... basically instead of walking down the steps to get off the bus... i sort of flung myself out and landed on the ground outside...
Dont ask me why cos i really dont know what exactly happened to me... i just felt a bit giddy then i thot i have grabbed the pole but i didnt and the bus was shaking so i fell... Ya i think this must be it...
And worse still i attracted so much attention... cos the bus and the bus stop were both full of people... and the bus driver even got off the bus to ask me how i was... Damn pai seh la...
Dont laugh okie... not funny ah... I got so many bruises all over my leg... be sympathetic okie. =P

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 1:14 AM

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I HAVE FINALLY HANDED UP MY HONOURS THESIS!!
Yeahhhhhh!
Have been working on it for the past 6 months at least... its a product of my 'blood and sweat'... seeing it finally printed out and binded nicely... i felt so touched that i almost cried... haha.. im serious... its a wonderful feeling... And I feel so so relieved now... its like a heavy load off my mind... No more thinking about the same thing over and over again... And no more 'cars' 'cars' and more 'cars'... Was so sick of seeing that word.. Hahaa..

Today's Tourism lecture is the very last official school lesson i will ever have in my life (if u dun count NIE)... feeling a bit weird that my school life is coming to an end... it has been the life i led for the past...16 years?? ..woah thats a lot... And its all coming to an end now... Im going to start a new phase of my life soon... I wonder how it feels to step into working life... Often hearing about how working people say, "I wish I could go back to school"... I have no comments cause ive never really worked... But Im really looking forward to being a teacher... its something which i have passion in and i hope to do the job well... Hope it'll all turn out fine. =)

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 2:27 PM

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Friday, April 04, 2008

Its been a long time since i posted... Have been busy with my thesis all this while... Until recently i sort of finished writing my thesis... Now im just tying up some loose ends... so quite free actually... I should be feeling very happy now but somehow im not... Its weird... I have been so looking forward to finishing my thesis that i forced myself to write very fast and 'get over and done with it'... But now that i finish it i cant really savour the feeling cos there's no one else to share the joy with... Cos everyone else seem to be still struggling with their thesis so i cant be bragging about how happy i am that i finished mine.. Oh well... And one more thing is i dont think i have done a perfectly good job...and there's nothing much i can do about now since everything is already fixed... i cant be making big changes now... so i guess the thesis will just stay the way it is... And im really scared i disappoint Prof Chang and become his worst thesis student (considering how good all his previous students are)... Well so the 'get over and done with' strategy doesnt work... finishing it doesnt mean my worries are over...

Im really looking forward to my grad trips.. cos i have not one, but two! So exciting! Before i entered Year 4... i felt i didnt know many people.. and didnt have many friends from Geography... And when my seniors talked about 'grad trips' i was thinking who i will be going with for my grad trip... cos at that time i dont even know anyone (except maybe one or two people)... I thought it'll be difficult to make friends in Honours year.. i thought everyone will have their own cliques and i would be left out... I was so wrong... Now in Honours class everyone is friends with everyone else... its amazing how the grueling lectures, projects and stuff brought us all together... and also all the wondeful gatherings, bbqs, chalet etc that brought so much joy... The Honours class literally go through thick and thin together.. how nice... Now i think back, i realise my worries about not making any friends was not needed... I have so many friends now! yeah and im going to two grad trips with them! Hope we will have a fantastic time in Australia and Thailand!
I LOVE MY GEOGRAPHY HONOURS CLASS! =)

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 3:14 AM

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

From now on I shall wash my hands off everything.
You do whatever you like.
Thats what you want anyway.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 11:50 PM

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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Why do I still love you?
Despite all the hurt.
Why do I still love you?
Despite all the sorrow.
Why do I still love you?
Despite all the tears.
Why do I still love you?
Why...
Why...
Why...

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 11:18 PM

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Monday, February 04, 2008

"The person I love most hurts me the most." - A Mandarin song title.

It applies the other way too...

The person who loves me the most hurts me the most too.

How do you hurt someone you love so much?
This I really dunno...
I guess its always not on purpose...
But when it all adds up its still the same.
Hurt is hurt
A lot of hurt is a lot of hurt.
No matter whether you did it on purpose or not.

A murderer can say he didnt kill the person on purpose.
He could say he didnt mean it.
He could give excuses to explain.
But it doesnt change anything.
The person is dead.
No amount of explanation could bring the person back.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 3:38 AM

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Its the end.
I forsaw it coming.
Perhaps even since the very start I forsaw this kind of ending.
But right from the start I worked so very hard to prevent this ending.
But it didnt work.
Im such a failure.
Last time I used to put in so little effort thats why I failed.
This time I put in so much effort yet I failed too.
Can someone tell me what went wrong?
Trying too hard is a wrong thing.
Thats something I learnt today.
Perhaps it was already a mistake right from the start.
I was too confident I could set it right.
I was so wrong.
I am so wrong.
Im always wrong.
Nothing I do seems right.
I might as well disappear from this world.
Will it make any difference at all?
I guess nobody will even notice.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 3:21 AM

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Im sick again...Ive lost count of the number of times I am sick this semester...
This is bad.
And I always kena the same bout of illness - the typical cycle of sore throat-flu-fever-blocked nose-cough... I think this particular virus really likes me alot..Let me get to know who you are and I will make sure I discover a vaccine against YOU..YOU stupid virus!!

This reminds me of my project for the Microbes module...It is a group presentation that is held today and I couldn't go cos I was still feverish and constantly sneezing.. Felt really bad about it.. cos I had to pass my part to my group member.. and also quite disappointed cos I did put in much effort and was actually looking forward to the presentation..cos perhaps this is the most interesting and enjoyable presentation compared to all the rest I had with my sucky Honours modules.

Sigh.. Illness really brings people a lot of inconvenience, disappointment and much negative feelngs in addition to the pain you already suffer due to the illness... So in sum that adds up to quite a lot of pain actually...physically and mentally and probably emotionally too.. Im already complaning so much when im ill for a few days.. What about people who are ill forever till the day they die?.. Im talking about people with chronic diseases that has no cure...such as asthma, arthritis, Alzheimer's disease, cancers, diabetes, heart diseases, osteoporosis, hypertension, stroke and so on... How does it feel to be constantly ill? Can we ever understand how they feel?... Why is the world so unfair.. Why some diseases can be cured while some others cant... And with all the medical technological advannces, all we can do is help them cope with the disease??.. All i can say is our human body is a fragile one..treasure it while its still healthy..

I seem to have lost my right to complain when I think of people who are suffering more than I do... Cos at least I can get well.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 3:15 PM

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Been feeling down recently...
Yet another big hurdle has appeared in my life that is testing the limits of my strength to overcome it.. Just when I thought my life is getting on smoothly...
Perhaps life was never meant to be peaceful..cos a life without challenges would be too boring...
But I guess I would prefer to have challenges that can eventually be solved.. rather than one without a solution.. or literally, without a cure.
What happens when you are faced with some unacceptable realities in life that cant be changed no matter what you do?
Learn to accept it.
Learn to live with it.
Learn to cope with it the best that you can.

___* flyy aaaaaawayz *___ 10:38 PM

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